We can’t help others if we’re stuck in toxic patterns.
I think the reason—correction—I KNOW THE REASON, I’m having success now is because I spent time working on my own problems first. It’s an ongoing process for sure, that I will never be finished with.
This past year, and these last few months, I’ve strived to be honest about the things I tell myself and my stinking thinking has been life changing. And the funny thing is I KNEW IT. I just didn’t want to be different. I felt like I was entitled to my toxic behaviour because of the pain and trauma I’d been through.
I was in pain. It was normal for me to be reactive. Normal for me to find ways to cope, usually through food and being overly emotionally dependent on others. I would talk down to myself, about myself, and judge others pretty harshly—and then feel guilty about it. It would cycle through until I was trapped in my own toxicity alone and isolated with pain.
Own your truth and move through it
I didn’t want to exercise. I didn’t want to eat better. I didn’t want to do the work. Once I said it out loud to my partner, I was able to really hear what an entitled brat I was being. I wanted to be healthy but still eat ice cream every day. I wanted to be stronger physically, but sat on my butt watching 10 or more hours of streaming services a day. I wanted to lose weight but used fast food delivery instead of eating the veggies in my own back yard.
Feel the pain, remember it, and grow
I felt that pain. That shame. The “why did I let it get this bad?”, and grew past the shoulda-woulda-couldas to the DO IT stage. I was ready for something different. I already had the shoes, the TV, the yoga mat, the water bottle—heck even had some fitness equipment collecting dust.
Now I had the motivation to grow stronger mentally and physically and it worked. With in three weeks I was already naturally sharing my progress on social media. Mostly, because I couldn’t believe how easy it was. I was avoiding this my whole life? For what?
The choice is easy, it’s a lot of effort but it isn’t HARD. It’s 30 minutes of my day to move and about an hour a day of working on my inner self.
Helping others do the same thing
Here’s the thing, I don’t make people exercise. I don’t make them eat well. I don’t hold their hands and make sure they are doing a magic formula because there isn’t one. I help people ask themselves questions they’ve been avoiding and find the solutions to the problems they identify themselves.
Everyone has a mom and I’m not it
I am not their mother. It’s not my job to raise them into the potential I see in them. I’m the coach. One step at a time. If you need to stay on step one for a year—do it! Sometimes we can do a lot of change at once, sometimes only a little. But it all starts with being honest about where you are at and where you want to be.
Courage, Passion, Success
Have the courage to do and say what needs to be said. Take hold of the passion for yourself and for growth to make it happen. Success will follow if you put in an honest effort.
It all starts at home.